I made a post a little while ago about having a bad week because of a device of mine that killed some patients during a humanitarian-use situation for patients that would die shortly without this hail-Mary of an intervention.
I normally don't respond to trolls, but I thought I would say a little something about why I feel bad.
I got a few emails about why I would feel bad when other people are dying. That I should be punished for producing something that has killed people (directly or indirectly). Here's the thing about humanitarian devices: these people have no other options. In my past experience with this type of study about half of people end up recovering from a disease which they had no chance against. I feel good because they can finally leave the hospital after months or years of constantly being there, but also because I can add something to my short list of great things I've accomplished. This most recent device was their only chance outside of a miraculous multi-organ transplant or a Dollhouse-ian transfer of minds. I obviously feel bad because someone died because of my device, but I also feel bad because I failed at something; also, future people that needed this type of operation definitely don't stand a chance now.
So fuck you if you've been emailing me saying I'm selfish. I can feel bad for lots of reasons, and you don't get to pick the reasons why.
Regarding the emails I made about less relevance in academics in the medical field: I'm still correct. I don't feel like having this argument.
There's a reason I disabled comments for that post. Ugh.